Just had to jump................

I JUST HAD TO JUMP By Whitney Kemp, Nov. 2006

I was lead on made to believe and treated as if I were of worth. To him I was worth one thing, kind of like a trophy he could show off and talk into doing anything. I let my guard down, was it really winter love? Or was it a comfort of feeling as if someone actually loved and adored me? I was on a downward slope, a roller coaster headed towards the end. No ups, just a downward pull and the only way to get out was to jump off and grab hold of something to climb back up to the top. My heart told me to jump, but was I strong enough to grasp and climb? Or would the rollercoaster eventually take me back up to where I needed to be spiritually? I tried to believe it would, but I knew at that moment I needed to jump. Faith was all I needed to get back up there and he could not help me. We were once there and nothing was done, so I jumped! My fingers grasped the first bar I could grab. I tightly held on and began to climb, then a weight attached and I started to slip. Next to me was him. He had jumped after me, prying each finger one by one trying to get me to let go. I fought until I could no longer fight and I let go.

At that instant, my life was over. I was done trying to fight him and I had given up. Free falling and eyes closed I felt a warm had grab mine and all my fear was gone. Looking down seeing him fall farther and farther, I noticed I was no longer falling. I looked up and saw nobody but could still feel the warm, gentle hand in mine. Out of the brightness another hand reached down. The moment I grabbed on another familiar feeling of comfort and love came over me, So many memories rushing over me by just the touch of a hand. Then I saw him, a friend, a familiar face of a young man who once shared love with me was there again. He lifted me up, held me, and led me back to the path which would lead me up to the top. Side by side we climbed together, leading one another to other paths which still might only lead us to the top, to the place where we always wanted to be. And although I lost something that I thought was perfect, which was not. And my not always have the young man who was always there to lift me back up, I know I will always have the warm hand in mine that I couldn’t see, I JUST HAD TO JUMP!